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avatar Olivia Veqqie
I'M NOT SURE WHERE SOME PEOPLE LEARNED THEIR “INSIDE VOICE”, BUT I THINK IT’S SAFE TO ASSUME IT WAS INSIDE A HELICOPTER SURROUNDED BY RUNNING CHAINSAWS

I'M NOT SURE WHERE SOME PEOPLE LEARNED THEIR “INSIDE VOICE”, BUT I THINK IT’S SAFE TO ASSUME IT WAS INSIDE A HELICOPTER SURROUNDED BY RUNNING CHAINSAWS

avatar Anthony Miller
Doctor:

Doctor: "Your husband needs rest and peace, here are some sleeping pills. Wife: "When must I give them to him? Doctor: "They are for you!"

avatar Charlie Chocolate
So, when did you notice your wife was dead? The lovemaking was the same but then the dishes started to pile up...

So, when did you notice your wife was dead? The lovemaking was the same but then the dishes started to pile up...

avatar Gaie Houston
Some people have gentle guardian angels. Mine hands me matches and says, “You'll learn faster this way.”

Some people have gentle guardian angels. Mine hands me matches and says, “You'll learn faster this way.”

avatar Anthony Miller

"You only live once" I f*cking hope so cause I'm really not enjoying it

avatar Mark Manson
The smile I give after I press no tip at the register

The smile I give after I press no tip at the register

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